Challenging Modern Norms and Embracing Traditional Values
Hello once again from a quiet coffee shop. I began this week with a friend's wedding in Waxahachie. It was a wonderful chance to celebrate these two friends and see them start a new adventure together. Having known both of them for years, it was awesome to see their stories come together. Knowing the groom far better than the bride it was a wonderful moment to see the answering of many of his prayers, prayers said in a community of men often around a fire and a cigar in hand. Moments where shallow conversations of work and weather waded into honest conversations of hopes and dreams. Moments where silence would stretch long and words would be chosen slowly amid the wood crackling in the fire. Moments of faith where things were hoped for but not yet seen. These moments are often lost amid the business of life, yet I think they are the moments of revival for the human spirit. So again, I want to say congratulations to these friends of mine! I am excited to see you begin this new adventure together.
As I sat down for this week’s post, I once again found myself struggling to decide what to write about. Having been stuck in my office all week, I found little time to listen to podcasts or books. Yet I find myself continuing to this on the subject of androgyny, this idea of flattening out the differences between the sexes. Our culture today has heralded this flattening as a move toward equality, as though equality can only be found if we become the same in nature and function. I think many would find it hard to articulate where these ideas came from, as though these ideas are seemingly in the air. Here is where I will focus today: the ideas in the air.
Culture, Water & Fish
Many of us fail to consider the amount of subliminal messaging we are exposed to daily. I grew up in many ways sheltered. I didn’t go to school; I began working at a very young age. I didn’t watch much TV or Movies, yet I found myself exposed to ideas I honestly could not have told you where they originated. One of these ideas is that our planet has too many people and that we need to minimize that population as much as we can, or we will soon find ourselves starving. This singular idea has resulted in the death of millions if not billions. Yet I don’t recall anyone ever overtly telling me this. I remember it being this background thought and idea in my mind. Now, if I think back on it, I can see the message as though it were a faint song playing in the background; it was just low enough to go unnoticed yet loud enough to leave an impression. Sometimes, this message did come from the music I heard; other times; it would come from an offhanded comment in a TV show or movie. Other times, it would come from conversations. Even as I write this out, it seems like an abstract idea, like a whisp in the air I am trying to catch. This whisp in the air, I think, can most easily be described as our “Culture.”
Some commentators have said that America’s greatest export has not been the products we developed but “Culture.” For generations, America has been seen as the light upon the hill and many nations. This exportation of culture came from the films we produced and the songs we sang. It came from our leaders, who often held the world's attention in moments of crisis. Our nation flourished; consequently, many of those who chose to emulate us did the same. However, our nation flourished not because we had invented something new but because a Judeo-Christian moral ethic defined our culture. It was not that we were perfect, but all people were subject to this ethic, from the man in the factory to the man in the Oval Office. Culture is cultivated by the things we normalize. Culture is defined by the things we allow. Culture is changed by the standards to which we hold ourselves and others.
Even as I write it, this idea still seems rather ambiguous and vague. I think the way I have best heard it is defined as the fish in the water. One day, a fish and a bird meet, and the bird asks the fish how he likes living in the water; the fish then asks the bird, “What is water?” It is a silly example, yet we, too, have a similar experience. We too are like the fish in the water, we are surrounded by our culture, it is in the air we breath, in the media we see and the songs we sing. Our thoughts and actions are often a result of our culture. Just like the fish, we do not realize everything we say and do is a reflection of culture. An example of this that comes to mind is in the not-so-distant past in America. We expected men to be the providers and protectors of their homes; we expected them to hold the door for a woman, not because she could not open it herself but instead honor her. We expected a man to honor her and treat her with dignity. We expected men to give up space on the boat for the sake of women and children. So, too, we expected women to show gratitude for these things. We also expected women to honor and respect men. Socially, this often looked like women choosing to dress in a manner that would not intentionally entice a man. These were the cultural expectations; each had a distinctly different expectation placed upon them. Often, these expectations were established for the sake of the other. Men did not choose to drow for their own sake because they hoped to get something from the women; they instead sought to serve the women even at the expense of their lives. So, too many women chose to dress in a way that would honor men. It was recognized that men and women were fundamentally different. Men were taught never to hit a woman because it was recognized that a man was biologically stronger than a woman. So, too, it was recognized that women biologically were much more capable of seducing a man through their appearance. This, too, was seen as a form of power. Both sexes were taught that they held power over the other in some form, and culture taught both that this power should be restrained for the sake of the other.
Our culture today is very different. It no longer tells us to deny ourselves anything or seek the good of the other. It is more self-obsessed. It has moved away from selflessness as modeled by Christ and instead preaches selfishness. Our culture today chooses to not only ignore our differences but outright deny them. As I have dug into these cultural norms and often questioned them, I have often found hostility from one party or another. I have found that it makes people uncomfortable when you question the status quo. As our culture continues to devolve into chaos, I find myself trying to recognize the water within which I swim.
The more time I spend asking these questions, the deeper the rabbit hole goes. Yet the one thread of truth that prevails is that the further we get from the standards established by Christ, the more dysfunctional our culture becomes. I feel there is so much more I can say about these ideas, as I feel they are incomplete as I attempt to stitch them together. Yet, for today, I leave it there and I hope this has given you something to think about.
