Listen To Someone You Disagree With
We live in a world today where we can easily have access to any idea we like. We have access to hundreds, thousands, even millions of ideas at our fingertips at any time. The ideas we access don’t have to be truthful, honest, or based in reality whatsoever. It is so easy for us to get the answer we want today. If we want to believe that the world is flat, someone somewhere will support and agree with the idea, no matter how much evidence there is to say it’s not true; if you want to believe it, someone somewhere will agree with you and your truth no matter how insane the idea is. The issue we face goes deeper than just our search results and what we see on the surface. There are algorithms in the background “helping” you find what you’re looking for by pushing what you “want” to see to the top. So again, if you believe that the earth is flat and want to research it to get the answer you like, what you are likely to find is search results will cater to and reinforce your existing beliefs. Okay, maybe not with the whole flat earth idea cause it’s not flat, though some do still believe it. If you’re reading this and I have just destroyed your world, umm, sorry, I guess. Someone had to tell you, just like someone had to tell you, Santa isn’t real. Yikes, I’m sorry. I’m sure I ruined someone else’s childhood with that sentence. My point is if you want to believe something, someone will agree with you no matter how far from reality it is because today, we are told that reality can be whatever we want it to be. Through these systems and algorithms, we see all the evidence from only one side of the coin and never hear the honest arguments from the other side. These systems allow us to entertain ideas that would previously easily be dismissed as false. Through this system, we breed extremism because we never have to see or listen to people who don’t believe the same way as we do. So then, when we do hear something we disagree with suddenly, those people are the enemy, but not only are they the enemy, they are also obviously just idiots. Because how could they not see this thing that is so obviously clear to you?
Confession time this is something that I have often and frequently struggled with. I have often found myself looking at someone of opposing views or maybe just a different perspective than my own and have suddenly seen them as the enemy as soon as I knew they did not see things as I did. Because we all want to be right, no one wants to admit to being wrong. We are all so sensitive, and our egos can’t handle the idea of being wrong. The reality is if we never have our ideas challenged, then we never grow, and we never learn anything beyond our comfortable beliefs.
I think this is a shortcoming of many Christians, especially in the Mennonite culture I grew up in. Again I want to point the finger at myself. For the longest time, I was afraid to learn about science because I was scared that if I learned about science, I would suddenly find that the ideas I had learned from my parents regarding my faith would be proven false. So what I did is I avoided learning to protect myself from having my beliefs challenged or maybe even dispelled, and I think this is something we all have to contend with. Beware the comfortable truth because if it does not challenge you, it does not grow you. Learn to think, don’t just learn and adopt what others believe, but learn to think for yourself, is one of the most valuable skills we can learn. Learning to ask these questions is invaluable.
Why do I believe what I believe?
Can what I believe stand on its own merits?
Do I get defensive if someone challenges my idea?
If “Yes,” why?
The simple reality is this; I don’t want to believe in something just because it makes me happy or because it helps me sleep at night. There is no safe space from the truth; as it has been said, “facts don’t care about your feelings.” If I don’t believe there is a murder outside my door and there is, in fact, a murder, well, you get the point. Reality does not care about how you feel about it. The ugly truth will always kill a pretty lie. You may like the pretty lie, but the lie won’t be able to defend you from the truth.
Due to the amount of driving I do for work, I spend a lot of time listening to podcasts. I’ve found that when I listen to a podcast, there are few things as annoying, unhelp, and boring as when everyone in the conversation agrees and reinforces each other. Even if what they are saying is true. The problem is they have only taught me what to think and not how to think, failing to equip me with a reason. They have only told me the what, not the why. It’s all well and good to be told what is true, but what does it matter if you can’t tell me why it’s true? I want to be sure I always examine what I believe and consider my biases, and I want always to be willing to challenge my beliefs so that I can learn and grow through those challenges. How can I kill the pretty lie if it never has to confront the ugly truth?
An example of this; If you tell me “God is real,” that’s great, and I do agree with you ultimately, but if you can’t give me a reason for why I should believe you, then someone else can just as easily come in and tell me “God is not real” now the question I’m left with is who should I believe. We all naturally lean toward believing what allows us to continue to believe what we are most comfortable with, or at least believe that which won’t require us to change. Something that won’t cause discomfort. What good does that do me if what I believe is a lie?
We live in a culture that teaches us to believe whatever makes us feel good and whatever makes us happy. But again, what good does it do us if what we believe isn’t true? We all ultimately get to choose to believe whatever we want to believe, but just because you believe something doesn’t make it true. No matter how badly you want to believe it or deny it, what’s true will always be true, and what is false will always be false. We can’t change that fact, So we should surround ourselves with people who don’t just tell us what we want to hear but tell us what we need to hear. It will always be better, and it is always more loving to tell someone an uncomfortable truth than just a pretty lie.
So my challenge is next time you hear something you agree with, ask yourself where is what you believe founded. Next time you disagree with someone, listen to their side of the story, listen to an opinion you don’t agree with, and listen for the sake of listening and not for the sake of proving them wrong. This is a personal battleground I have to check myself on actively. Ask yourself whether you allow your ideas to be challenged. Are you surrounded by people who will challenge you and your ideas? Or just people who will tell you what you want to hear. Are you in an echo chamber? A personal observation I’ve made is that usually, the thing that challenges you is what you should seek to understand because, most often in life, what is true is not easy. But what is true is going to be most beneficial to you.
I once believed that God expects us to blindly follow Him, that it was wrong for me to question Him, and that it was good and noble for me to blindly follow and never ask why. Today I don’t think that is the case at all; Jesus taught mainly by way of questions. Jesus allowed the truth to speak for itself because, ultimately, the truth is written on every human heart, we can suppress and deny the truth, but it does not change based on how we feel about it. “We do not invent the truth; we discover it.” I truly believe that God wants us and expects us to ask questions, and He is not surprised by our doubt. God is not afraid of our questions, and God is not afraid of our doubt. If we are willing to see, to open our eyes, the truth will always point to and prove God John 14:6.
Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
We can take courage that if we are honest with ourselves and are willing to honestly pursue the truth and challenge our beliefs, then we will come closer and closer to God because He is ultimately and finally THE TRUTH. We may not always understand the truth, but if we pursue it honestly and ask God to reveal it to us, then we will never be disappointed. Proverbs 3:5-6
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”
