Modern Culture of Marriage, Dating & Relationships
This week, I had an opportunity to enjoy celebrating the weddings of multiple friends of mine. My entire Saturday was spent going from one wedding to another! So, I want to take a moment and say a huge congratulations to those friends, and it was an honor to celebrate with them. Weddings are a moment to both celebrate and prayerfully reflect on what it is we are celebrating.
No institution has more greatly come under attack in our modern culture than the institution of marriage. Some have sought to redefine it as nothing more than a union by the state. Today, there are many who practice and engage in same-sex weddings while others have married their pets, some their computer girlfriend, and some even choose to simply marry themselves with a full-scale wedding ceremony being held in celebration of themselves. An idea that is truly satanic, as the doctrine of satanism, is not the worship of satan; it is the worship of the “self.” With such perversions of the original design, many young people have sadly abandoned it and become disenchanted with it entirely.
Recent surveys show that anywhere from 35-50% of marriages end in divorce, so I can understand why many might be discouraged. Our secular culture has adopted these new versions of marriage or what they would define as a marriage. It is no surprise why many today choose only to cohabitate in hopes of avoiding the legal entanglement that comes with what many see as an inevitable divorce, and others choose to live in an “open relationship,” none monogamous relationship, choosing instead a polyamorous relationship that allows them to enjoy a variety, of different partners and there are YouTube channels such as Jubilee that have full grown adults trying to explain to children the joys of these types of relationships. Many today go into marriage with an uncounted host of sexual partners, and many studies show that having multiple sexual partners deadened their oxytocin receptors. Oxytocin is often affectionately nicknamed the “love hormone,” and through this deadening of their neurological function, many find that they are increasingly incapable of emotional bonding with someone through a sexual union. So much like a drug, when the high wears off, you begin to look for the next hit and the next, but each successive “hit” only further numbs you. With all this said, the odds seem to be increasingly stacked against this ancient God-ordained institution.
In addition to this, there is an ever-increasing tension between the sexes. Feminism has taught young women that they do not need men and that if they desire to have a family, then there is something wrong with them. As I’ve written before, feminism is a hate movement that teaches young women to despise men and the function that they serve within society. It also teaches young men to hate themselves for being male, with the ever-growing cultural narrative of “toxic masculinity” as simply “the male species” and that they are the bane of civilization and the driving force for all evil things. Feminism tells women that they are and have been the perpetual victims of men and that men have spent all of human history seeking nothing more than to subjugate and control them. It teaches women to adopt a victim mentality.
Now, then, there is an alternative to the feminist movement for men. As women are told to hate men through feminism, men are told to hate women through a movement called the “Red Pill” movement. Just as there are multiple variations of feminism, so too are there of the red pill community, but at its core, there is also a victim mentality in the movement. It teaches young men that they are victims of hypergamy, an idea that suggests that women generally only date and marry men of higher social or economic status than themselves, and so many young men feel justified in their victimhood because it isn’t their fault that they are single and that no one wants them, they claim its not their fault that the cards have been stacked against them through genetics or their childhood environments. To an extent, there is some validity to their claim; Author Dr. Warren Farrell writes of some of the challenges of today’s men in “The Boy Crisis.” Other books like “Man Interrupted,” “The End of Men,” and “Is There Anything Good About Men,” and others all seek to understand what has happened to today’s men. Though I don't agree with all the points of many of these writers, they do all point to a very real issue in our culture.
The Red Pill also often teaches young men that many women are nothing more than sexual objects and incapable of rationality because women are biologically predisposed to be more emotionally inclined. So, this movement teaches young men to belittle young women as stupid and incompetent. Once again, there are YouTube channels that monetize these movements, such as “Fresh and Fit” and “The Whatever Podcast,” and they use the resulting lonely men as financial supporters to continue to spew hatred. But also, often, they bring on young women who do very often make a fool of themselves by the things they say, leaving you to believe that this must be a true sampling of the female mind. The Red Pill, just like feminism, has some truth interwoven into it to make it more appealing, and there is something within the fallen human condition that craves to defer responsibility and blame someone else for our troubles. We saw this at the beginning when Adam blames Eve and Eve blames the serpent. We always prefer to pass the buck down to the next person in line rather than own it.
I have written much on this subject, and my thoughts on it have changed often as I have learned more about both feminism and the red pill movement. The more time I spend with either of these subjects, the more apparent it is to me that both are reaction movements. Feminism was the result of abusive men mistreating their wives and women in general. Women were oftentimes treated very poorly historically, and I think that is a point that should not be forgotten, but I think it is also important to remember in history, all people have been mistreated, both male and female. I am a firm supporter of many of the changes that have been made to ensure that women are treated as equally human as men. Today, the tables have turned, and suddenly, men have begun to feel disempowered and spoken of as some parasite to the human condition. As seen in an article by the New York Times titled “The Male of the Species: Why is he needed?” And so, in response to this trend, the “Red Pill” idea was born. The thing about any good lie: there is a hint of truth to it. There is something real that it addresses, and I think what makes the most appealing lie is when it tells you, “It’s not your fault.”
That’s the thing that both movements were and are addressing very real issues that exist for both sexes. Unfortunately, both approach the situation from a godless perspective and so both create further division between the sexes rather than unity. God created men and women to serve a unique function that points toward him. Only through unity does mankind have the capacity to reflect God in its truest capacity, and that is through the birth of new life. This is such a captivating picture to me. In the beginning, God said that He made us in His image. This means that He created us also to be the stewards and creators of new life. A function that can only be truly met through the sexual union of male and female within the human species.
Our society has become increasingly androgynous, demanding that men and women are equal in function, “Equal” meaning the same. This is a lie from the pits of hell; we are gloriously different. We are absolutely equal in value, but neither man nor woman has greater value than the other; neither is superior to the other. And this is the lie that we must combat in our Western culture, where we have tried to pervert the original design. Part of what makes a woman so alluring and attractive is that she is mysterious to a man; she is foreign and different to him in a way that is captivating to him. Men are “in general” creatures of rationality and logic. We like to be able to put everything in a neat box. Women are “in general” more emotionally oriented and less logical. This does not mean that they are incapable of logic by any means, but they are generally more emotionally inclined, and this is a good thing. Women seemingly have the ability to read minds simply because they are, in general, more emotionally intelligent. As a man, I can say that I simply don’t get it; I do not have this mind-reading ability. There is a classic sermon analogy I have often heard that women are like spaghetti and men are like waffles. As men, we are generally very capable of emotionally segmenting and compartmentalizing things, and in general, women’s emotions are all interwoven, like a plate of spaghetti. And this is a good thing, and this is by design. God made us each a creature that can complement each other.
Both of these movements have created animosity between the sexes, teaching them to see each other as an adversary. And again, the devil has, since day one, sought to create division between men and women. The devil has not changed; his tactics are still today as they were on that fateful day in the garden: to divide and destroy. And the single greatest threat to his schemes is the man and woman who walk in unity in their God-given design.
As I look ahead, there are half a dozen weddings coming up within my friend circle in the next few months, and it makes me incredibly excited to see them defying the message of our culture that says that marriage is an outdated institution. It also makes me sad to know. Statistically, the odds of a divorce in one of their futures are very high. But I praise God that statistics do not bind Him! He defies the odds! As I look ahead at the next few months and the weddings that are on the horizon, I hope to remain in continual prayer for those who are venturing into this new season of life and into a new spiritual war. That they may all defy the odds and that they can each be a thorn in the schemes of the devil.
Looking forward in hopes of finding a spouse of my own with whom I may partner my life, I aim to make myself a thorn today in the schemes of the devil so that when the day comes that I do find that partner, we will, in unity wage an epic war against the prince of this world. I am preparing and putting in my reps. I am training to be a force that will, with violent resolve, oppose the schemes of my enemy. I am training my mind by reading books and challenging my beliefs. I am training my heart to be on guard against the deceptions of the enemy. I am training my eyes not to be led astray. I am training my ears to know the truth from the lie. I am training so that when God calls me to battle, I may be prepared either in marriage, ministry or simply life so that I may be well equipped for the battles that WILL come.
Once again, thank you for joining me on this journey of seeking purpose and pursuing it with resolve. Please consider subscribing and sharing if you enjoyed!
