Wedding Weekend & Embracing Our Capacity To Rise Above Our Animalistic Instincts
This one is a little late once again. It was a busy week, from catching 2:00 am flights to prepping wedding speeches. There was no end of things to do and little time to see them done. I landed in Houston Thursday morning and was picked up by my soon-to-be sister-in-law’s father. The entire weekend was a blur of activity. So, as things have finally slowed down and I have returned to my work routine, I can now take a moment to reflect on the wedding weekend where we celebrated my brother and his new bride!
It was, all in all, a magical weekend, and the two of them are an easy couple to celebrate; both love others well and seeing them together just made sense. Yet, as much sense as it makes, I had to admire God’s handy work in it all, as my brother is someone who is generally quiet, often bringing a serious tone to a lighthearted conversation. Whereas his bride is someone who can bring light and life into the most serious situations. She is a happy and all-around bubbly person. You know those people who seemingly are unreasonably cheerful, almost to the point of annoyance, because you can’t manage that same level of cheer. So, seeing these two very different people come together in unity and see how they balance each other and help each other was one of those moments that was truly a moment of joy.
After all the festivities of the day, many of the wedding party members helped clean, and after, we all enjoyed some well-earned Chili’s! It was a fantastic weekend filled with many laughs and a few tears of joy shed. I have spent the last 24 months learning about human psychology and learning about the modern dating and marriage landscape. Seeing how marriage rates are plummeting, and divorce rates are skyrocketing. It can leave a person feeling very cynical. Yet if there’s anything that I find encouragement in time and time again, it is that God is not bound by statistics, and so we can be encouraged that when we pursue Him, then we stand the greatest chance of defying the odds. What I’ve learned through all my studies in the subject of human psychology is the ever-present reminder that we are a fallen species doomed to repeat the mistakes of the past as we desperately declare that we are making progress and have become enlightened. I find myself constantly reminded of my own errors, sometimes through public correction but more often in silent moments when I find a once passionately held conviction dispelled and I realize once again my own folly.
The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck, M.D
So, with a new year, I begin another year of learning. It was through a series of questions I asked ChatGPT that I discovered this book, and I must say I have thus far thoroughly enjoyed it. This book has thus far been one that scratches my psychology itch and has also given me some new ideas to ponder.
“The greatest ability of the human species is its capacity to rebel against its nature"
“The man who is unwilling to deny himself his natural inclination is a man no different than an animal”
These two ideas from the book both left my mind awash with ideas and thoughts on many of the issues that affect our modern culture. It was once considered righteous by the majority to deny ourselves our passions and desires. But our modern culture seems to have forgotten this idea and has become truly gluttonous in all things, having in so many ways forgotten the old notions of moderation. But there is also this idea of denial of “nature.” We are the only earthly creatures who have been given the faculties to deny our natures and, through it, become greater than animals, yet so many today choose to act only on their base instincts. Today, few are taught to control their lustful impulses. The common notion today is that as long as it is consensual and no one is hurt in the process, then our appetites should be denied nothing. The same thing is true of our appetite for food or alcohol; again, so few today learn to become master of their stomach and are instead ruled by it.
I was recently reading an article that talked about why the Jews practiced fasting, and one of the core ideas was that in Jewish culture, according to this article, the practice of “fasting” was to gain mastery of the appetite of their stomach. In American culture, we have been taught that when we are hungry, then we need food, and while there is some truth to this, it is not entirely accurate. I was listening to a podcast a few months ago where a Doctor was talking about the fact that most of our hunger is not triggered by the actual need for food but is instead triggered by how we have trained our appetite. This idea that we NEED to eat three times a day is not accurate for many of us, as very few today engage in jobs that are physically taxing enough to demand that amount of food intake. But even though we do not need this amount of food, we still find ourselves hungry every time lunch rolls around because we have trained our bodies to desire food during these times. In the same way, many, many of our appetites today are trained based on exposure and indulgences rather than actual needs.
I learned a while back that somewhere around 90% of all crimes can be attributed to some form of alcohol. Yet today, it is the most popular substance, and many today find that they do not believe they can relax without it. The same is true for marijuana; many feel they can not function without it because they have trained their bodies and their minds to depend on these things. They have submitted themselves to their animalistic instincts to numb or turn off and avoid pain wherever and however possible. Rather than rebel against their natural inclinations, they submit themselves to them. I want to be clear when I write this: I am not writing it from a podium to point a finger. I am writing it as a reminder to myself, as much as to anyone who chooses to read this, that we are more than animals, and so we should act as such. We should all endeavor to act more like men than animals.
We are not a creature who was made in the image of animals, but in the image of God, and through this, we have been given rational faculties to reason. Many evolutionary psychologists find incredible patterns where they can predict human behavior based on animal studies. But very often, they find that there is one element they can not explain, or they say they have “not yet” discovered the answer to a question. So many times when I hear them say this, I can see the writing on the wall; if they were willing to admit God into the picture, they would see the answer, but for them to do this, they would have to abandon the origin of species as they know it and they would have to return to God’s design that says we are more than animals and we are called to act as such, and this often times is something many simply will not do, for it would mean the abandonment of their appetites. This is part of what it means to be human, and this is also part of what is required in a marriage union according to God’s design.
