Emotional Pornography

We all live in a world today that is saturated with pornographic materials, and the rampant availability of pornography is a relatively new phenomenon. Over the last decade, we have begun to see the fallout and side effects of it. We have seen studies that show a significant decrease in long-term relationship satisfaction for those who are frequently exposed to pornography. One of the most frequent points made against porn is that it creates unrealistic expectations. My argument here today is that as much as visual porn is affecting men and creating unrealistic and unhealthy expectations of women. I believe that a similar case can be made against Romantic Comedies and that they create different yet similar unrealistic expectations. But this does not seem to be a notion that is considered by most or vocalized.

We are constantly being exposed to physiological stimuli. This is true for both what we see, but also what we hear. In general, men are creatures more stimulated by what they see and women, in general, by what they hear. This is why in general, men are more drawn to porn than women are, but women, in general, are more drawn to erotic writings than men. So please join me as I introduce this idea and make a case against over-exposure and indulgence in romantic comedies!

Introduction

We are constantly bombarded with images and messages of love, romance, and happily-ever-afters. From the countless romantic comedies and dramas on our screens to carefully curated posts on social media, we are exposed to a world of emotional idealism that seems too good to be true, and often it is. This idea has been called "emotional pornography" – a term used to describe the unrealistic emotional expectations that are perpetuated by the media. While pornography is often associated with explicit sexual content, emotional pornography refers to the unrealistic emotional fantasies that are portrayed in media, which can be as damaging to our emotional health and relationships. In this post, we'll explore what emotional pornography is, how it is portrayed in the media, and its impact on our emotional health and relationships. We'll also discuss ways to recognize and combat emotional pornography so that we can build healthier emotional expectations and relationships.

II. What is emotional pornography?

Emotional pornography refers to the unrealistic and exaggerated portrayals of emotions and relationships that are often depicted in the media. It differs from actual pornography in that it focuses on the emotional aspects of relationships rather than the physical. Emotional pornography is characterized by its idealistic and often unrealistic portrayals of love, romance, and relationships. These portrayals often create a distorted view of what a healthy emotional relationship should look like.

One of the main problems with emotional pornography is that it can have a negative impact on our emotional health and relationships. When we are constantly exposed to images and messages of perfect relationships, we may begin to feel dissatisfied with our own relationships. We may start to compare our own lives to the idealized versions of relationships we see in the media, leading to feelings of inadequacy and disappointment.

Furthermore, emotional pornography can create unrealistic expectations of what love and relationships should be like. We may begin to believe that love is always easy, that conflict is always resolved quickly, and that our partner should fulfill all of our emotional needs. This can put a tremendous amount of pressure on our partners and ourselves, leading to disappointment and even relationship breakdowns.

Examples of emotional pornography in the media include romantic comedies and dramas, which often depict love in a highly idealized way. These movies may show couples falling in love at first sight, sweeping romantic gestures, and happily-ever-after endings, without giving much attention to the hard work and compromise that goes into a real relationship. Similarly, social media can perpetuate emotional pornography through carefully curated posts that showcase only the best moments of a relationship while hiding the challenges and difficulties.

Overall, emotional pornography is a dangerous phenomenon that can lead to unrealistic expectations and dissatisfaction in our relationships. It's important to recognize emotional pornography and its impact so that we can build healthier emotional expectations and relationships.

III. The prevalence of emotional pornography in media

Emotional pornography is ubiquitous in our media landscape, from movies and television shows to social media and advertising. Romantic comedies and dramas are particularly guilty of perpetuating emotional pornography by portraying love and relationships in an idealized and unrealistic way. These movies often rely on clichés and stereotypes, such as the "meet-cute," the grand romantic gesture, and the happily-ever-after ending, to create a perfect fantasy world that bears little resemblance to real life.

Social media platforms like Instagram and Facebook can also be sources of emotional pornography. Users often present an idealized version of their lives, including their relationships, by carefully curating their posts and choosing only the best moments to share. This can create a distorted view of reality, where everyone else's relationships seem perfect, and our own relationships pale in comparison.

Advertising is another source of emotional pornography. Advertisements often rely on emotional appeals to sell products, and they may use idealized images of love and relationships to do so. For example, a diamond company may use a commercial that shows a man proposing to his girlfriend on a beach at sunset, with the implication that a diamond ring is necessary for a perfect proposal. This kind of advertising can create unrealistic expectations and put pressure on individuals to conform to these ideals.

The prevalence of emotional pornography in media has significant implications for our emotional health and relationships. Constant exposure to idealized and unrealistic portrayals of love and relationships can lead to dissatisfaction with our own relationships, as well as unrealistic expectations of what love and relationships should be like.

In order to combat emotional pornography in media, it's important to be aware of its prevalence and recognize when we are being exposed to it. This means being critical and aware of the media we consume and actively seeking out more realistic portrayals of love and relationships. It also means being mindful of our own social media usage and recognizing that the idealized images we see are not representative of reality.

IV. How to combat emotional pornography

My suggestion here is not to say that no one should ever be allowed to watch a romantic comedy again. I am, however, suggesting that it is important to understand the ideas that we are feeding our minds and that we understand how they might affect our emotional health. I am also suggesting that it is unhealthy to make a habit of constantly watching movies and entertaining media that constantly feeds idealistic depictions of romantic relationships.

Conclusion

How or if you will make any changes to your media consumption is for you to decide. I know for myself I have learned that, generally, it is not a good idea for me to watch these movies as it often leaves me feeling dissatisfied with my own life rather than content. And again, this is not a call to go to the extreme and prohibits all exposure to romantic comedies and other forms of media. I think it is healthy to take inventory of how it affects you, and if you find that it leaves you with a general dissatisfaction with your life, then maybe it’s a good idea to avoid it if it encourages you to strive to do better in your relationships and to build a healthier relationship then great! I can say for myself I have found currently it is best for me to avoid excess exposure.